Why PM Gillard's new bum is important

I have been castigated by the women in my household for a month for saying Julia Gillard has a big bum. One woman in my life can best be described as a protofeminist -- no theory, but she has plenty of  attitude -- while the other is a real feminist, she has the theory and the attitude. For that I am mainly to blame, because before she went to university I recommended she read the feminist classics such as Betty Freidan's 'The Feminine Mystique', 'The Second  Sex' by Simone de Beauvoir and even 'The Female Eunuch' by the now notorious Germaine Greer.

I mentioned in this blog several weeks ago that Julia has a big bum, so you can say I got a scoop at the expense of Germaine, because you read it here first.

You may recall the story of  'The Emperor's New Clothes'. A shyster sells the Emperor a set of invisible clothes. He holds a big parade, everyone is saying how marvelous the new clothes are, until one small boy yells at the top of his voice 'The Emperor has no clothes' and everyone bursts out laughing.

The same with Julia's new bum. Apparently only Germaine and I  noticed Julia has a big bum until we pointed it out to everyone else, just like the small boy who said 'The Emperor has no clothes'. This is not entirely true. My wife says of course every woman knows Julia has a big bum  (bum size being very important to women)  but its its not nice to say so, and Gemaine was very nasty to point it out to the teeming millions who watch Q&A. Men wouldn't noticed such a thing otherwise, they imply. Call it female solidarity, if you like.

Now, believe it or not, there is an element of truth in this. When a female parliamentarian first enters the House or Senate, a kindly attendant usually takes her aside and warns her about the dangers of 'Parliamentary spread'. This refers to the propensity of the female posterior to expand greatly when the parliamentarian sits for lengthy  periods of time in the chamber or at her desk while being nourished by the delicious fare of the Members Dining Room and all the lovely scones and so on her constituents expect her to scoff down while in the electorate. Thus, it is more than likely that Julia's bum is a much bigger than it once was.

Why is this important? To the average blue collar bloke, that is, the Labor base, Julia is a ranga. I asked one of my students what a ranga  is. The student,  a very decent young man of Greek extraction, said 'ranga' was short for orangutan, because both Julia and orangutans have red hair. For those who don't speak Indonesian, orangutan means 'man of the forest'.

Blokes, especially young blokes, don't like Julia. Sorry ladies, they know she has shocking red hair, they know she doesn't have much dress sense, unlike the GG, who always looks as if she just stepped off a cat walk, she has that horrible raspy ACTU accent and yes, they do know she has a big bum, even if you think they don't. Now that the Libs lead the ALP. 57.5% to 42.5% (Morgan poll taken 31 March to 1 April) what blokes think about Julia's bum  matters a lot.