When I told me wife I was going to write about homosexuality, my wife's advice was "don't say anything nasty." It is not gay men or lesbian who are peddling nonsense, however, it is their critics. Some of their beliefs seem to defy reason.
Take for example the belief that all males are naturally heterosexual and are somehow converted -- or subverted -- into being gay. In my experience, most gay men discover around the age of 15 -- usually to their horror -- that the are not attracted to the opposite sex. Rather, the reverse. They are quite alarmed to find the are attracted to other males. This can be very disturbing, especially to young men who have strong religious beliefs in faiths that emphasise heterosexual marriage. A humorous account of this can be found in "Naked" by David Sedaris (Little, Brown 1997). I am not much in favour of the "Scale of Sexuality" where there is a progression from heterosexuality to homosexuality -- most men are either gay, or they are not. Of course, particularly in show business, many men are not as heterosexual as they appear but this mainly for publicity. You can't "convert" someone to homosexuality.
Other cultures have different ideas. In Asia, its quite acceptable for gay boys to have their fling, particularly in cultures like Thailand. They are expected to eventually settle down, marry and produce children. I once had the extreme misfortune to share a dorm room with two Thai boys who went to sleep in each other's arms every night and played the same three Thai songs over and over again, day and night. A relation of mine is Chinese, gay, married and has recently produced a child. He does not live with his wife. This is not as unusual as it sounds in China.
Are there no genuine bisexual men then? I am told that most gigolos are bisexual and that they are very good lovers. On the other hand, I believe the number of genuinely bisexual men to be small. "As Nature Made Him: The Boy Who Was Raised as a Girl" by John Colapinto (Harper Collins 2000) shows just how difficult it is to change a person's sexual orientation. I therefore regard aversion therapy and other forms of behaviourial modification therapies aimed at changing a person's sexual orientation as being a form of torture. David Riemer had his penis and testicles removed by surgery but he was still a heterosexual male.
I have a number of friends who I either know or suspect are gay. To be quite honest, I feel uneasy around the classic effeminate gay man but mostg gay men don't worry me at all. I consulted two experts on what I should do if one one of my friends made a pass at me, as has happened before. One said that gay men have a very good idea about a person's sexuality (gaydar) and if he valued our relationship he would be unlikely to make advances. Another said "if he loves you, why shouldn't he?"
According to my research, a certain proportion of males (always small) in any culture are gay. Even where homosexuality is punishable by death, these gay men will seek an outlet for their sexuality. A smaller proportion will be lesbians. This accounts at least in part for the "man shortage". It is not a figment of the imagination of 30 something women looking for partners. These days, it is far more socially acceptable to be both openly gay and unmarried.
The whole discussion about male and female sexuality has become enmeshed in the gay marriage debate. The two are related, but only tangentially.
My advice to those who campaign against homosexual people, rather than the radical gay political agenda, is to follow the advice of "The Moonshiner"
I'm a rambler, I'm a gambler, I'm a long way from home
And if you don't like me well leave me alone
I'll eat when I'm hungry, I'll drink when I'm dry
And if moonshine don't kill me I'll live til I die.
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