Editorial independence for Fairfax? -- ha, ha, ha!

Will those precious little flowers at Fairfax never learn? Gina Reinhart's billions are the only things standing between The Age and oblivion. No one else is going to put money into a stock that is falling like a rock. All she wants is a say in how the SMH and The Age are run. Is that unreasonable? I don't think so. The so called 'Editorial Charter,' is a ruse perpetrated in 1988 to deter somebody else the staff  didn't like, namely the late Robert Maxwell a.k.a the Bouncing Czech, from taking over the company.

Anyone who knows anything about newspapers will tell you The Age is a very poor paper. It's layout is shocking, with all those crazy spills jumping all over the place with no logic at all. Laying out a tabloid like the   Herald Sun, which from a technical point of view is a far superior paper, is much harder. Circulation figures show the Herald Sun is holding up quite well, while The Age continues to plummet. Why? It's a crap paper.

I am quite confident Gina Reinhart doesn't really care about surefire money losers like The Age's booklet on the best 100 coffee shops, which no one outside of the inner city gives a stuff about. What she does want is a say in how views and news are presented. She's not likely to rush into the newsroom at deadline time yelling 'Hold the front page!' after a particularly stimulating dinner party, as Frank Packer is said to have done more than once at Sydney's Daily Telegraph.  As for Rupert Murdoch not having a say in producing what is, after all, his product, the idea is laughable. Proprietors like printers. They don't rabbit on about editorial independence. They may be greedy and foul mouthed, but give them enough money and they would print Mein Kampf. Journalists were once poorly educated craftsmen who learnt on the job. The idea that journalism is a calling for highly principled literateurs is a modern invention

I have not always been so critical of The Age. During the Khemlani loans affair and in the  months leading up to John Kerr's dismissal  of the Whitlam government, I paid to have The Age air freighted from Melbourne to Perth -- now you just log on. It was an expensive undertaking, but The Age was breaking just about every important story in Australia. For that we had to thank two men -- Ranald Macdonald, scion of the founding Syme family, and editor Graham Perkin. Ranald Macdonald was known as 'Australia's most successful failure'. He did the money from his Age stake cold when he invested in several fitness centres which went bust. One industry figure said 'he should have been cleaning the toilets, not making speeches.' But he went on to carve out a highly successful career as a journalism educator in the US. Ranald Macdonald wasn't much of a businessman, but he was very, very earnest, which always goes down well in America. Graham Perkin died young of cancer, a great loss to journalism.

The Age, the SMH and rest of the Fairfax group have to relearn an old lesson -- 'today's front page splash, tomorrow's fish and chip wrapper.' No matter whether it's The Age, the Ford Falcon or any other crap product, no matter how mightily you boost it, if the customers won't buy it, you're out of business.  Which is where Fairfax is going to be without Gina Rinehart.

Is it worth banking on the Wales?

I  have banked with every major bank in Australia, but the one I have banked with longest is Westpac. As people over the age of 55 will recall, it was once called the Bank of New South Wales. It advertised itself as 'First Bank in Australia' and so on. It was Australia's biggest bank and also had Australia's biggest merchant bank, Partnership Pacific. Like its little brother Tricontinental, which sent the venerable State Bank of Victoria to the wall, Partnership Pacific almost wiped out Westpac.

Westpac relied on men like Bob White, who started as a clerk at 16, to rise through the ranks and lead the bank. Bob White was succeeded by Stuart Fowler. Due to a combination of bad judgment and bad luck, under Stuart Fowler, Westpac almost went belly up. Westpac recruited Robert Joss from Wells Fargo to rescue the bank, which he duly achieved. Joss is now regarded as one of the world's pre-eminent finance educators.

What I liked about Westpac was its 'can do' attitude. Arriving in Melbourne from Perth, I had a job but knew no-one. I wanted to buy a house. I had a substantial deposit. I went to one Westpac branch and asked for a loan. The manager said he was in a bad mood and told me to piss off. I went to another Westpac branch and the female accountant said 'We don't lend to West Australians, unless they're footballers.' I went to another Westpac branch in Collins Street, Melbourne's financial heartland, and the manager said 'Well, we're in the business of lending money, how much do you want?' And it was all done in a couple of days.  

My latest contact with Westpac was when I applied for a Mastercard  with a small limit. It was all fine until they wanted a payslip. I am a freelance writer. I do not have payslips. If I got a payslip, I think I'd swoon with delight and think I'd gone to heaven. I might add I have liquid funds far in excess of the limit I requested.

The next night the ANZ rang me up and offered me an increase in my limit on my existing Visa for an almost identical amount. No paperwork, all I had to do was say 'yes' within 24 hours. ANZ is far and away the best Australian bank in China. Due to its alliance with the Construction Bank, you can draw on your Australian ANZ account in almost any town in China. The Construction Bank is one of China's 'Big Four' banks.

Hasn't Westpac heard that these days a great many contractors and self employed people, the most dynamic section of the economy,  don't get 'payslips'? And that perhaps Melbourne people still remember how Westpac (a Sydney bank) took over the Bank of Melbourne (formerly the beloved RESI before it floated), killed it off -- and has now revived something called the Bank of Melbourne, having previously written off billions in goodwill?

It will take a lot to convince me before I bank on the Wales in more than a token fashion.

Vote Bill Shorten last

I live in the federal electorate of Maribyrong. In the old  days, it was a semi-rural seat that switched back and forth between the conservatives and Labor. Moss Cass, noteworthy for being Minister for the Media at the fag end of the Whitlam regime, took the seat in the late 1960s and it's never looked  in danger since.

Which is a bad thing. Maribyrnong was held by Bob Sercombe, one of the serial under achievers of Australian politics, from 1996 to 2007. The factions gave Sercombe the bum's rush and inserted Bill Shorten as member. This simply confirms that the factions select the member for Maribyrnong, not the voters. It's now the sort of seat where, as they say, you could put up Billy the blacksmith and he would win. You could probably say if the voters are that dumb, they get the member they deserve

I will declare my interest. Bill Shorten was an Australian Workers Union (AWU) official who exploited the Beaconsfield mine disaster to the hilt, using the private jet of Dick Pratt, a man who like to have a bet each way, to traipse around Australia. Bill never did anything as common as to perform manual labour. It's said the hardest day's work he ever did was collecting dues from the fruit pickers. I, on the other hand, was a paid up member of the AWU when I was a plant operator and trades assistant on the Panawonica iron ore mine in the Pilbara. I don't believe Bill comes from a background of wealth and privilege. He did go to Xavier, Melbourne's top Catholic boys school, but as with many boys,  paying the fees meant their families had to make economies.

Bill is a master manipulator. If the HSU's Kathy Jackson is to be believed, he is quite capable of crudely putting on pressure to get his way, but that shouldn't amaze anyone with experience of union and ALP politics. What I object to is that Bill hasn't actually achieved anything in the Parliament. His financial services reforms have a long way to go before they are law. Bill floated for a few days a joint ticket with Kevin Rudd  for the Prime Ministership, but it sank like a lead balloon. Where's his legislative record?

I have met Bill Shorten. In my opinion, he has the personality of a piece of wet blotting paper. The frightening thing is that he is likely to be Prime Minister one day. The way to stop him is to vote Bill Shorten last.

Bill Shorten's secret

I live in Bill Shorten's electorate, Maribyrnong. If I was represented by any other Labor member, out of sheer perversity, I may be tempted to vote Labor in the upcoming Federal election. It would of course be a totally wasted vote, but then again the only meaningful vote I have is in the Senate.

Bill Shorten was married to Debbie Beale, daughter of Julian Beale, squillionaire and Liberal party power broker. While married to Debbie, he began an association with Chloe Bryce, daughter of the Governor General. Bill Shorten married a heavily pregnant Chloe after they had both ditched their previous partners. If you want proof, you can Google it and see the pictures for yourself.

Now, in last Sunday's Herald Sun, Bill and Chloe said how dead against intrusions of privacy and nasty rumors. No one said what the nasty rumors were.  Anybody who's been in Canberra knows how the Press Gallery operates. Probably more stories go on the spike than ever see the light of day. It's part of the press-pollie club. Sorry, Bill, I'm not a member of the club. The embarrassing rumor I heard from very good sources was that you had impregnated one of your staffers. If it's not true, let's see you deny it -- in public.

Joe Hockey: Reformed bank basher

Joe Hockey's wife is an investment banker, if the bush telegraph is to be believed. If so, she probably earns ten times his anaemic parliamentarian's salary. For a union official, a public servant or a teacher -- in other words, a typical Labor MP, it's  not a bad wage, but if you are a top QC (think Tom Hughes) , a businessman, a medical specialist or even an architect in a successful practice -- in other words, the people who once filled the Liberal ranks -- it's pretty pathetic. Most Lib MPs these days are staffers,  a person the average Liberal branch member not so long ago regarded with derision and scorn.  

I must say Smokin' Joe was once very low on my list of top Libs. His incessant bank bashing  might appeal to the hoipolloi, but any sensible person knows Australia is blessed to have four sound banks that earn good profits and have sound balance sheets. It is no secret that the real battlers -- in other words, small business owners -- are subsidising holders of residential mortgages. This is pure politics. With Treasurer Wayne Swan whining  about the banks passing on each reduction in the RBA cash rate to mortgage holders, when he knows that it doesn't directly affect their cost of funds, the banks don't need enemies on the Right.

But Joe -- who until recently I habitually referred to as 'That Fat Prick Hockey' -- has reformed. He's been telling everyone -- including Tony Abbott -- that if  there is someone promising to spend the taxpayers' money like a drunken sailor, it's Tony Abbott, not him.

Take the handicapped insurance scheme. In the Budget, some $1 billion was allocated for this scheme. This is despite Jenny Macklin telling me it would cost $6.5 to 8 billion dollars in the first year alone (see previous entry 'Be Hardhearted with the Handicapped). Who is going to fund it now? The States! After all, it is a Stater responsibility. And who else? Tony Abbott! And what does Joe say? We may not be able to afford it! This scheme, which will replace family carers with paid staff, and will wipe out a private sector which dates to colonial times and replace it with a government bureaucracy, will be funded by the Libs, if Tony Abbott has his way. According to him, it's bipartisan policy.

We'll forgive the reformed Joe his former bank bashing ways, now he's the nearest thing to an economic brain the Libs have.

As for Tony Abbott: He's on a mission from God -- and we don't know where he's going.

Tony Abbott: Worse than Whitlam

My Grandmother had very little formal education but a great deal of that esteemed quality known as 'common sense'. If a dog started growling at me, she would say 'don't go near the dog, it might bite you.' Then she would say 'the dog is not very smart, you are. If you go near the dog and it bites you, it's not the dog's fault, it's your fault, because you knew the dog would bite. The dog, on the other hand, would be just acting like a dog.'

The same applies to Gough Whitlam and Tony Abbott. The manifesto for the Whitlam government was 'Towards a New Australia', (1972) published by Cheshire for the Victorian Fabian Society. It lays out the Labor program in government. At that time, if you wanted to know where  the Labor dog would bite, you could read this book.

Now, by 1972 the Liberal ascendancy was nearing its end. It was stale and some of its policies, such as paying female employees in the public service two-thirds of male salaries, were guaranteed vote losers for half the population. The fag end of the Menzies era consisted of a series of leaders (or should we say losers) who couldn't come to terms with the office. Gough Whitlam was elected prime minister with the slogan 'It's Time' and the majority of the Australian electorate agreed with him. Labor was in power for the first time since 1949.

The Whitlam government gained a reputation for policy making on the run and it's defining motto came to be 'It seemed to be a good idea to the time.' Were still paying for a great many of these 'good ideas' such as defined benefit pensions for public servants and will be for many years to come.

Tony Abbott also has many 'good ideas'. These 'good  ideas' seem to consist of adopting ALP policies then trumping them, as with the handicapped insurance scheme. This scheme will be enormously expensive, wipe out a private sector that has existed since colonial days and replace family carers with with professional (read paid) carers. Already, over 800,000 people are on handicapped benefits -- scarcely believable, I know. How many more will we get now?  Then there's his so called maternity leave, which is going to pay senior executives $75,000 to pop out a baby before they hand the infant over to a nanny.

Tony Abbott is said to have studied economics. I find that scarcely credible. As an active supporter of Australia's most successful socialist prime minister, John Howard, this should not come as much of a surprise. One day the Chinese will stop buying iron ore and coal and the party will be over. If Tony Abbott is PM when the music stops, as he could very well be, the money for all his 'good idea at the time' programs will stop too, and those people on some sort of government handout -- most of  Australia thanks to John Howard's middle class welfare -- will be very, very angry.

With Gough Whitlam, we had 'Towards a New Australia'. About all we about Tony Abbott's policies is that, like Jake and Elwood  Blues in 'The Blues Brothers' he's on a mission from God -- and we don't know where he's going.    

  

Bob Carr will do his duty and save the ALP

To be honest, I'm not all that into social media. Email is OK, but it's 'old technology'. Facebook is marginally useful, but Twitter -- what does Twitter do? As far as I can work out, the News Corp hacks tune into what Rupert is putting on the airways because it's a good career move to know what's going on at HQ. But what about Shane Warne? Is anyone slightly interested in a cricketer who has passed his use by date? or Bono -- whoever he is.

But I do know what a trending topic is, and the trending topic is that Bob Carr will be Prime Minister. It's inevitable. In one of Rupert's more brilliant creations, Mx. the Melbourne afternoon giveaway -- no PA would miss an issue -- former Liberal opposition leader John Hewson said Bob Carr would replace the Ranga by the end of the year. 'Whether they go back to Rudd , and that's a big swallow with Bob Carr sitting in the wings,' Hewson told Sky News. "I wouldn't be surprised if Bob Carr wasn't prime minister by the end of the year.' (Mx 27 April 2012). I said this over a month ago.

To understand why Bob Carr will be PM, you must know two things. It is like night following day.

First, for all its faults, loyalty to the leader, etc, the ALP isn't a stupid organisation. All those marginal seat holders know with Julia in charge they are for the chopper. The ALP would lose every seat in Queensland except, perhaps, God help us, Kevin Rudd's. They know with Julia there they are stuffed, with a capital S. She has to go, and she will.    

Second, you must understand that Bob Carr is an old Labor man. When I met him at a function protesting the Victorian Charter of Rights, I told him 'I didn't think there were any Labor men like you left, Bob. He replied 'I'm the last of the tribe, mate.'

Bob Carr says he doesn't want to be prime minister.

Bob Carr is telling the truth. He doesn't want to be PM. But he will. He will be PM for the same reason Bill Hayden  quit the leadership before an election a drover's dog could have won. He will do it for the party. Bob Carr has nothing to prove, but he will save some of his mates. A drover's dog won't win the next election but Tony Abbott will - 'virtually synonymous' as my old mate John Rice would say.

Anyone saying the Ranga will lead the ALP to the next election is delusional. Like the old warhorse scenting battle, Bob Carr will saddle up for one last, epic struggle. And then he will quit politics and rest, because he's done his duty to the Party and his mates like a Labor man should.